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Reading Together

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Author: smurphy

Note To Self: For Present Me. For Future Me. For Anyone Who Ends Up In The Same Shoes As Me. – Sara Murphy

Note To Self: For Present Me. For Future Me. For Anyone Who Ends Up In The Same Shoes As Me. – Sara Murphy

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A final reflective piece of ENGL 431 and interning with ENGL 30.

Note To Self:

Just breathe.

Make mistakes. And remember those mistakes when others make mistakes.

Allow others to experience your mistakes…so others can also learn from them.

Your are enough. Remind them they are too.

You are smart. So are they.

Be kind. Always. No matter how difficult it is.

Be patient. Because remember you are also learning and they are being patient with you.

Have fun. Be fun. Allow fun.

Not everyone learns the same.

It is OKAY to overlook grammar. Balance is key.

Smile.

Talk to them. Remember the times you just needed someone to listen.

Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know”. But work with them to find an answer. Learn with them.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Sleep. It helps.

They are Freshmen. Remember your first year of college.

They are not all English people. Just like you are not a math person.

Embrace the silence. Make them break first.

Do not answer your own questions.

Do not doubt your abilities. Or theirs.

A day only has 24 hours. Some days this will be a good thing. Others it will be a bad thing.

Play music. And if it gets really bad have a 30 second dance party.

Re-learn how to do an annotated bibliography. Even though you only had to do it that one time in high school.

Be love. Be kindness. And if anything…be present.

Allow time for play. For creation. For imagination.

Bring cookies.

Remain an equal.

They also have a million things to do.

If all else fails just keep saying the word “thing”. It appears to work for all the highly regarded English professors.

Marry someone who owns a Dutch Bros. Or defy gender roles and buy your own damn Dutch Bros. Or you know…just be a broke college kid and buy a coffee maker.

Today decides tomorrow.

Never have a Mac/PC debate with Kim Jaxon.

It will be okay.

We are all just frauds.

Just breathe.
My Dad – Sara Murphy

My Dad – Sara Murphy

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I rarely hear stories about my grandpa who died about a month after I was conceived. It was a freak accident. He was 41. Had many arguments with the government organizations about a tree near their house that had potential to be dangerous…he was right. In a December storm the tree rebelled its roots and crashed down in the middle of the night, sparing everyone but my grandpa.

Stories are hardly ever told, but the one I remember most prominently is a quote my grandpa always told my dad when he did something “stupid”…”God said brain, you thought he said rain, and you ran for cover”.

I have many memories of my dad. He was and is one of the funniest people I know. He is an extremely hard worker… working the same blue-collar job since the age of 21. My mom had my older brother when my dad was a senior in high school. He gave up his entire life for his family. He could fix/build anything which requires being outdoors or in the garage. And I admire him for all these qualities.

Growing up I not only laughed at my dad for is fun, care-free sense of humor, but my brother and I constantly laughed at my dad for his reading and writing. My brother and I naturally did well in school, making his struggles with reading and writing alien, therefore funny, to us. He is not illiterate. And he is far from being “stupid”. He possesses brilliant ideas… it would just be highly difficult for someone not familiar with his writing to read those brilliant ideas.

Every year on my birthday I would giggle because my birthday card would read “I luv yu”….and this was before lazy texting words. He sincerely struggled, but always tried his best… when he wasn’t so completely discouraged.

A few years ago my birthday card read “I love you”. I was proud. But in a way I was also sad, because “I luv yu” just sounded more genuinely like my dad. Then I felt angry…

Growing up teachers and fellow classmates also told my dad he was stupid… and I guess my laughter as a child also told him he was “stupid”. No one had the patience. He was even put in remedial classes… they still lacked patience and understanding. No one ever suggested a possibility of a learning disability. School just gave up on him… and I guess this caused him to just give up on school.

I will always feel anger toward the fact no one truly put faith in my dad. Why did no one take time? Why did no one care? Instead of looking at his spelling, why did no one look at his ideas? Were his ideas ever even noted?  If he struggled so hard with reading, then why not give him a book he would appreciate putting so much hard work into reading?… because no one ever took the time and told my dad he was smart I grew up without my dad reading me bedtime stories or writing silly stories with me.

I wish I could reverse the years of damage….convince my dad he IS smart. Tell him he can finish that boom that has been on his nightstand for 3 years. Let him know he can write in a card without receiving laughter.

Though this “artifact” diverges from the readings I believe it is something to think about and take into account. I needed the reminder myself.

Sometimes someone just needs to write, so why not just let them write…. And appreciated their hard work and what they have done… Tell them they are smart even if in their own way… And let them know it is okay they misunderstood “brain” for “rain”.

Who am I outside a student? – Sara Murphy

Who am I outside a student? – Sara Murphy

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In “Hull’s” (also Rose’s and Fraser’s and Castellano’s) Remediation as Social Construct obviously an emphasis was placed on “remedial” students. And while discussing remedial students should be (and is) of high importance and is by no means a lesser matter than other matters this article caused my mind to wonder how distinguishing between “remedial” students and “average” students e(a)ffects (one day my brain will remember the damn difference) “average” students.
The idea of remediation also has a great influence on the learning of “average” or “above-average” students – in a unique form. From my personal experience as a student, the “threat” of being a student that belonged in remediation, actual hindered my being able to truly and genuinely learn. I have always been an A student and grew up with a mindset that anything less leaves you a failure. Because of this I am discovering that all my schooling has essentially taught me nothing. Fear of ever being looked at as a remedial student, drove me to be a better student, but only that – a better student. Not a better learner or a more insightful and intellectual student…just a better student. I have spent my entire life in school, but not to learn. Only to be “better” than everyone else…to look “smarter” on an application…to get an “A”. I only learned how to bull crap an essay for an “A”…to write on average matters I understood, instead of pushing boundaries and expanding my thoughts and ideas for a C…but a C that actually allowed me to learn.
How remediation is treated is not only a threat to remedial students…it is a threat to all students and to our entire education system. Why has school become a place to be good at school (and only school) and to get “A’s” and not a place to learn? It defeats the entire purpose of having a public school system or any school system. The education system was established to expand and enhance the ideas of the general population so in the world outside of school they could evolve society and technology and so on. And, at least for me, the education system is just a place of competition and limitation. Yes, I can maybe do an average job at school, but can I actually benefit society in any way with this? I am learning that being a “good student” truly has nothing to do with how smart you are or what amazing ideas and thoughts you possess.
I have spent my entire education writing an essay to get an “A” instead of writing an essay to expand and learn. I have been going to class to get participation points instead of going to class to discuss ideas that could change our society and world. Education and especially the threat of remediation has formed me into a student…not a contributing member of society, not a teacher, not a person with great ideas….
A student…
And if that is all my education has shaped me into what will I become after my “education” is over?