Example Student Work
The examples below from previous semesters may help when you’re stuck or need some inspiration.
Featured Work from Fall 2019 (selected by our peer review board each week):
Make 3: Engaging Expositions
I liked Liz’s make a lot because It wasn’t cluttered like many posters in classrooms tend to be! A few little things I noticed were that it’s titled “Our time to write.” I love that it says “our” because that includes the teacher too. It makes it feel like a team job. I also like that each sticky note is a subject and provides an example of what you could do, also each subject on the sticky note is a concept from our textbook! Last but not least, the clock in the middle is creative! I like how it has the minutes by 5. It’s another lesson within a lesson. 😉
From Sam:
I thought that Estefania Huerta made an awesome infographic for Make 3. She used a different material than those provided (Canva), which I thought was cool because it brings even more resources to our attention that we could possibly use as tools when we become teachers. Her infographics also had great visuals that related to the topic and great information about seals that was easy to read and easy to find on the infographic. I like how the information was divided into different subtopics and then listed in bullet points, short and sweet.
From Daniel:
Horacio Romo-Robles has make my favorite! He made an ABC’s website with extra information about each letter, which I thought was great because older kids can use this type of ABC book to teach them more info about a letter (like if they’re vowels etc).
From Lupita:
Make 2: Storytelling Makes
From Liz: I think Alyssa Telles really grasped the concept you were trying to get across in class and really dove into “being the student” from About the Authors! Her book talks about her loving to read from a very early age.
From Anthony: I think Alyssa’s was a good example because she used color and text in her book. She also gave a good amount of background info on inspiration, why she used it and how she’d like to implement it.
From Tara: I really enjoyed Samantha Guernsey’s mermaid story called “The Terrible, Terrible Anchor,” which was part of our Make 2: Storytelling. It really caught my eye because of the bright colors she used in it. As I was “flipping through” her storyjumper book, I was impressed with the effort she put into it because I tried using storyjumper and was slightly overwhelmed by it. In her explanation she said it was a personal fear of hers, so she took inspiration from it which I think made her story feel more real for me. She had dialogue that followed the story and it was clear what her goal was when writing this. It also felt a little like a fable, because there was a valuable lesson at the end, which I think makes a great end to a children’s story book.
When Luca was 5 years old, his Grandfather passed away and left a book in his possession. However, this wasn’t just any book, but their favorite book to read together. For years after his grandfather’s death, Luca would read the book by himself and he could remember the stories his grandfather would tell him about the foreign land in the story. These stories were so vivid that Luca was convinced this land was real. So as ten-year-old Luca was in his bedroom that night, he had an idea. With a glance around his room, he opened the book and tried to step right into it. With a thud, he fell to the ground “Well that didn’t” work he thought. This time he carefully tried to peer into the book and just ended up smacking his head on the floor by accident. “Ouch” he proclaimed. Frustrated he gave it one more shot, deciding that jumping was surely the way. So, Luca backed up and with a little force jumped right into the book.
As he landed on the ground, the foreign land from the story appeared around him. Quickly he stood up and looked for anyone to help him. His favorite character, Tony, appeared with his wooden sword held high.
“Who goes there?” said Tony.
“My… my name’s Luca, and I don’t mean any harm,” said Luca as he backed away slowly with his hands up.
“What are you doing here?”
“I don’t really know. I used to read this story all the time with my grandfather and I… just kind of guessed this place must be real. So, I just jumped right in.”
“Mmmmm, well are you up for an adventure? Because I lost some of my crew across our train bridge.”
“What’s a train bridge,” Luca asked.
“You see it’s the way we get across the sea to the Island of Whispers. I suspect the King of Whispers took my crew.”
With an unsure look in his eye, Luca agreed to join Tony and his friends, on their quest to find the rest of the crew. Luca’s reasoning for joining the crew was a selfish one. He was determined to find answers about the Island of Whispers and how his grandfather played a role in this story. He could feel that his grandpa wanted him to learn something, the problem was, he had no idea what.
Once upon a time, there was a young boy who wanted to travel the whole world. He wanted to go to New York to see the Statue of Liberty. He wanted to go to Disneyland to go on all the rides. He wanted to go to Paris to see the marvelous Eiffel Tower. He wanted to go to the Caribbeans to catch the sunset on the beach.
The young man wanted to go everywhere, so he decided to raise some money to pay for all these expenses. The kid tried everything. He tried a lemonade stand, no luck because nobody liked lemonade. He tried mowing people’s lawns, no luck, his neighborhood was too cheap. He tried having a yard sale and selling his shoes, no luck, nobody wanted them. He tried finding a job, no luck, nobody wanted to hire him.
The boy almost gave up because he could not find a way to make some money. And then one day, the boy was at home watching youtube videos until he came across this ad. The ad was showing this new popular game, flappy bird, the game has skyrocketed and it was the new game everyone was on. So the boy thought why not make a game himself and get money from that.
The boy made this new game called flappy singh, which was very similar to flappy bird but it was focused more on the indian culture. Within the first two weeks, nobody downloaded the game and the boy almost cried because he knew this game was his only shot into traveling the world and it seemed like this was going to be a fail.
Until one day, flappy bird had gotten off the App store and everyone jumped on to flappy singh, the downloads for flappy singh was going off the charts. The boy got so excited and he knew his dream was a step closer for coming into existence. Within a few days, huge checks started coming home for the revenue of flappy singh.
The boy was packing his bags, really excited to leave and go explore the world but as he is almost done packing he looks outside the window and something just clicked. The boy realized that there was so much that was happening around him that he never noticed: kids playing at the park, dancing classes across the street, people skateboarding, kids enjoying the local pool, and many more. The boy was so focused on what he wanted, he forgot to enjoy the world around him. As a result, he decided to keep the money in a safe until he enjoys the world around him and then he will go out and explore.
From Horacio: I really enjoyed Marissa’s StoryJumper story! It was easy to follow along and the pug was just so cute!
Spring 2018
The responses below are from About The Authors, Chapter 3
Kellie Cabico
In previous chapters I found my self nodding my head and saying yes or of course a lot, but I still felt like there were still some unanswered questions. I got the why in Chapter 1 and the what and the where in Chapter 2, but I really felt like Chapter 3 gave me the how — how we support our writing workshops by teaching our students about language outside of it. Some of the types of support outlined in the book I was immediately familiar with. I knew reading to children and talking to them was important for language acquisition and development. Other types of support seemed like common sense solutions, such as having all kinds of print around the room for them to see and reference, or using songs and games to learn language concepts. There were other types of support that I hadn’t considered in terms of actual writing support, like demonstrating writing by writing announcements, etc. on the board and writing done in other subjects. But I was still feeling a little unclear on how we were supposed connect these strategies to writing with young children’s skill levels. The following passage cleared that up for me.
“All of them have started learning, no matter their background experiences, because all of them come to us knowing something about written language, even it it’s just that it exists. They know this because they’ve lived for five years in a world surrounded by the symbols of print, some more surrounded than others, for sure, but all of them have seen lots of print…” (Ray and Cleveland, p. 49)
They are not blank slates. They are sponges, eager to add to their already growing understanding of language to make things that they hear and see around them all the time.
Unit of Study D also answered the other part of my question by laying out about mentor texts fit into the writing workshop without actually being included in it. I found the concept of having children talk about the authors by name and about their crafting techniques a really exciting concept. I know a lot of adults that struggle with this. I really can’t wait to be able to have these kinds of conversations with children.
In looking at the professional mentors, I was particularly interested in Denise Fleming’s work. I was drawn to her colorful illustrations, for which she uses a paper making technique where her illustrations are built into the paper of the actual page. She also uses onomatopoeia, alliteration, repetition and a lot of really fun verbs. Fleming uses a lot of verbs because she believes that picture books are small plays and that she writes her books to be acted out. I especially enjoyed “In the Small, Small Pond.” Fleming has said that when she was very young her father let her use the power tools in his workshop and that allowed her to not be afraid to make things. In fact, he was calling the things she made art, long before she actually became an artist. I found it really interesting that her early art experience parallels how the writing workshops allow children to be writers before they really know how to write.
Chelsea Peterson
There was so much information in Chapter 3, it’s exciting to just read it. I find that there is so much I want to incorporate in the future that it tends to get a little overwhelming. I love that they immerse the students in language learning all day, not just during formal teaching times. On page 39, it tells us that it is important to not just be identifying writing themes during writing workshop but we must address it in all activities we do in order to “wrap strong arms of teaching about how written language works” (Ray 39). I also love the idea of making the classroom full of printed words, giving the children plenty of exposure to written works, and all sorts of actual published writing like books, magazines, and songs. This fully coats the room in a learning rich environment.
When Ray talks about language work in the every day routines, she says that “it is so easy to do this teaching if we just remember that we need to do it” (Ray 39). I don’t necessarily think it is a natural thing to through into your day. I would imagine that if you remember to do it often enough, it will become second nature and it is so beneficial to the students, every bit helps. It probably becomes easier within the first month or two of doing it, but to think of doing it is a bit nerve-wracking.
I love their idea for generating words in the word study time on page 45. It gives the children a variety of activities to practice their words. I can remember doing spelling practice in school and hating the write the word five or even ten times. I absolutely hated this activity and if you ask any of us in the class, we knew it did not help at all. The children who did well on the spelling test at the end of the week, did well on the words at the beginning of the week and vice versa for the not so great scores. Even if I don’t use this for spelling, I think it is a great way to practice high frequency words, which helps reading and writing fluency.
I chose Cynthia Rylant for my mentor author. We already have When I Was Young In the Mountains in our home library, so I was curious about her style and what other titles she has written. One thing I have noticed about her books is that she does lots of lists using and, or, and but with very long sentences as in Snow:
“And while the snow is here this brief moment, let us take a walk and see how beautiful the world is and then come back to our white, quiet homes and make something warm to drink and maybe read or play a game or tell each other all that we’ve been thinking” (Rylant).
This use of and reminds me of how children naturally talk and I think it would be an easy thing for the children to incorporate to their own writing. Rylant also uses and to begin many of her sentences, as above and in Mr. Putter & Tabby Paint the Porch. In fact, I would say all the books I have seen of hers use and very frequently. She also has a way of repeating the starts and ends to her sentences, like “He doesn’t mind” in The Scarecrow (several sentences start with it) or “were pink” in Mr. Putter & Tabby Paint the Porch (several sentences end with it). Rylant also does an excellent job of painting an image, like in The Relatives Came with all the hugging that goes on when they get to their house. I can imagine my own family reunions and that is exactly how she describes it. You walk two feet and then you are hugging someone, two more feet, more hugs. Her imagery puts a smile on my face. Her first person narrative brings her characters to life, you feel what they feel and see what they see.
Christina Barbaccia
Part 1: Chapter 3 mainly focused on ways how a teacher can encourage students to write in the classroom. One way is by displaying many examples of print which students can use for reference. For example, having letter strips on top on their desk can be a great reference tool whenever a child forgets what a certain letter looks like. Another example is the multiple ways which a teacher can encourage students to interact with language. One great example of this is when Martha Gregory, an elementary school teacher would say, “Look for a word you haven’t noticed before as we walk along and go to lunch today. (Ray, Cleaveland, 42).” Encouraging kids to be aware that there is language all around them is a great way for them to think about language. Students can incorporate new words into future stories and projects which can add more personal elements in their stories.
Cleaveland explains in the text that she avoids worksheets that requires students to fill in the blank. Doing these worksheets don’t teach students how to generate their own text. These fill-in-the-blank worksheets forces children to follow a prescript pattern and it limits their imagination. According to Cleaveland fill in the blank worksheets do not have much educational value to children, “The value…in copying something that’s already written is probably in the service of handwriting and letter formation only. (Cleaveland, Ray, 48).” Teachers need to be careful with what English activities they choose for their class because not allowing children to generate their own text can make the students doubt their own writing abilities. Cleaveand explains, “Children who mostly copied writing in Kindergarten…have had very little experience generating text on their own. They’ll need lots of support at first in knowing how to come up with good spellings for words they want to write. (Cleaveland, Ray, 51).” Teachers need to realize that classroom activities can make a big difference in the students’ confidence in their own abilities and talents. As teachers we need to have activities that encourages students to generate their own text and encourages the use of their imaginations.
Part 2: In Appendix D, focuses on finding the appropriate writing mentors for students. I like the idea of introducing children to many authors because the more techniques they learn, the more things the students can add to their stories. Learning about these techniques will allow students to have many creative writing experiences that will benefit them developmentally as they get older.
The mentor author I choose to study for part two was Denise Fleming and one of her most well-known books is called Time to Sleep, which is about forest animals getting ready to hibernate for the winter. I choose her for my mentor author because she does a lot of interesting things in her writing. For example, she uses a lot of verbs and her characters are doing some action in the story. In the beginning of Time to Sleep, bear “sniffed the air” (Fleming, 0:21) and when she told snail it was time to sleep, Snail was “slithering on a leaf” (Fleming, 0:39). Giving these characters actions makes them appear more lifelike and it gives kids a better understanding about how different creatures move.
This book is an excellent example of how expository writing can be incorporated in children’s books. The animals made observations about the environment around them and these observations explains to the young reader what happens during the fall when winter is approaching. The snail noticed that there is frost on the ground, skunk noticed that the leaves were turning yellow and red, and the turtle explained that the days were getting shorter. I enjoy the fact that Fleming incorporated these scientific observations in a fun and easy way for kids to understand. I can encourage students to try to incorporate facts about animals, weather or other scientific facts in their stories. These facts can not only help them learn about science but it will make students become more aware about the world around them.
Then, I noticed that there is an element of repetition throughout the story. An example of this is when bear told snail that winter was coming and it’s time to “seal up your shell and sleep (Fleming, 0:51).” Snail then says, “It’s time to sleep, but first I must tell skunk. (Fleming, 1:05).” Then snail tells skunk that winter is coming and it’s time for skunk to curl up in his den and sleep. Then skunk says, “I will sleep. But first I must tell turtle (Fleming, 1:33).” In every paragraph the last line ends with a variation of I’ll sleep but first I must tell someone. All of the animals in the forest communicate the same message to each other throughout the story until the end when the same message circles back to bear who was already sleeping in her cave! Doing this repetition provides her story with structure and it keeps the reader focused on the story. Her work is an excellent example of what repetition looks like and it shows how repetition can help provide a structure for a story.
Lastly, I noticed how she illustrated her books. I watched a short video called, Meet Denise Fleming, where she briefly explains her illustrating process. She makes her own homemade paper, she cuts and glues her paper together to create the animals, background and foreground. I can show my students her work and I can try to encourage them to cut and glue construction paper together to create their illustrations. Also, I will encourage my students to try to use some other of Fleming’s techniques, including repetition, the use of action words in a story and incorporating facts into their stories. These elements will help further enhance students’ writing and will further help them develop creatively as students.
Time to Sleep: https://youtu.be/LFmhMt7JDZ0
The responses below are from our work with the mentor texts in Make Cycle 1:
Christina Barbaccia
In the book, Chrysanthemum, by Kevin Henkes, I notice that the author uses repetition throughout the book. For example, in the beginning, the author explains that “When chrysanthemum was old enough to appreciate it, she grew to love her name…she loved the way it sounded…Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum Chrysanthemum” (Henkes, 1:01-1:32). The author uses this repetition in the beginning of the story to emphasize the fact that the main character really loves her name and feels good about her name. However, when Chrysanthemum starts school, he uses repetition again to show that Chrysanthemum feels embarrassed about her name. Several times in the story Victoria and her friends make fun of Chrysanthemum’s name:
“It’s so long, It would scarcely fit on her name tag. I’m named after my grandmother, you’re named after a flower” (Henkes, 2:17).
Using this repetition, the words have the tendency to resonate in our heads and affect us emotionally. The author also uses the same basic structure: Chrysanthemum goes to school, Victoria and her friends make fun of her name, Victoria tells Chrysanthemum to change her name, she goes home back to her mother and father and explains that “school is no place for me” (4:54), then her parents make her feel better, and finally Chrysanthemum goes to bed. The author repeats this structure because it gives the idea of routine. It shows that ordinary school days can become awful when a victim is being teased day after day. The day when the kids meet Mrs. Twinkle is a special part of the story because it is a totally different event from the norm. When Mrs. Twinkle says, “My name is long too..it would scarcely fit on a name tag and I’m named after a flower too. My name is Delphinium” (7:25), Chrysanthemum instantly feels better about herself and she likes her name again. Another thing I notice is that the author italicizes certain words. For example, in the quote, “Her name is so long, it …I’m named after my grandmother, she’s named after a flower” (Henkes, 7:08-7:19) the author italicizes the words long and flower. The author makes those words stand out because it gives the effect of a teasing tone as the girls are making fun of Chrysanthemum’s name. It makes these taunting words stand out and it gives the idea of how these words are absorbed into Chrysanthemum’s head.
In the poem, “A Girl named Jack,” by Jacqueline Woodson, I noticed that Woodson also uses italics to make some points stand out. She uses italics to mark who is speaking and to show the tension of the name choosing. For example, the father says, “Good enough name for me…Don’t see why she can’t have it too” (Woodson, lines 1-5) and then right afterwards it says, “We won’t have a girl named Jack, my mother said” (Woodson, lines 13-14). This technique helps the reader visualize the conversation between Jack’s father and his mother-in-law. It also helps the reader sense tension between these characters as they are debating about the name Jack for a girl. There is also some repetition near the end of the poem; she mentions “just in case” (Woodson, lines 40 and 42) twice because it shows that the new mother is uncertain if her daughter will like the name Jack. The mother decides to name her daughter Jacqueline just in case her daughter preferred, “something…longer and further away from Jack” (Woodson, 42-46). The mom is concerned about her daughter being made fun of by her peers because she has a boy’s name. The mom wants to give her daughter the option of having a more feminine name just in case the daughter doesn’t like going by Jack.
In the last mentor text, Second Daughter’s Second Day, by Jacqueline Woodson, the main feature that stands out is the italics she uses throughout the poem. The first part that stands out is “so much is covering this mass Ohio ground” (Woodson, 0:39). The author is explaining that the fight for equality for African Americans was taking place when she was born. When she was born, Martin Luther King Jr. was planning the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom and it was also when President John F. Kennedy was elected into office. Another part that is italicized is the fact that she already has identified herself as a “negro here and colored there”(Woodman, 1:05-1:06). By society’s standards, she would always be segregated into the colored sections and always referred to as a negro. However, she does have the potential to change that. The author may not know how she’ll do it but she does realize the potential is there to change the world. There is one line that really stands out to me and it is when Woodson brought up Ruby Bridges going to an all-white school. There is a space underneath the paragraph which reads, “She was six years old.” (Woodman, 1:51-1:53). It can be scary to fight for what is right especially if you’re fighting alone. There will be others that will try to discourage one from fighting for what is right. But this sentence also shows me that anyone, no matter what age, has the potential to change the world; one just has to have the courage to continue fighting for what is right and don’t give in to what others are saying.
These texts are good models for writing because they show me that writing doesn’t have to have complicated structure or sophisticated language. Sometimes certain things like consistent sentence length can help young readers follow the story better. Two things I would borrow for my own writing would be to have some repetition because it is used for many things. For example, it can represent routine and it can emphasize an event that’s out of the routine. Repetition can be used to emphasize a certain point, and it can be used to help create structure. Another element I would borrow is the use of italics on certain words. This is another technique that helps make certain words stand out more and calls the reader pay attention to certain words. Italics can also mimic a certain tone of voice and help the reader visualize the same tone the author is trying to convey. These techniques can help me emphasize certain parts, help make certain words stand out to create a certain tone of voice and help me better convey my message to my young readers.
Samone Burge
Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes- was a lovely book about loving yourself and what makes you unique, even when others don’t. I found the text interesting because it was very rhythmical and filled with patterns. The first half of the book, everything was said in threes. “Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum” (Henkes). I could certainly relate to being picked on about my name from a young age. I remember being called Timon and Pumba a lot in elementary school, because my name rhymed with Timon from the movie Lion King and that was a popular movie at the time. I was also often called Simon as if I was a boy, and I never liked that. I also remember there being several girls in my class that were from different countries and they all chose to have second names because they knew that people would not be able to pronounce or relate to their actual names. They had “school or American names” to help them fit in, which I always felt bad about because their real names were so beautiful and really defined them like Chrysanthemum’s name defined her.
This story is a wonderful way to show children that even when someone’s picking on you, you are still special, nothing they say can ever take that away from you. The story also teaches children that it’s better to be kind because, ugliness is always trumped by kindness in the end.
A girl named Jack by Jaqueline Woodson was a great poem because it was so real. The way the characters talked and discussed the idea of a baby girl being named Jack was so true to everyday life. I felt like I was sitting between the mother and father right there in the hospital room. I also really enjoyed the very natural humor peppered throughout the poem. I couldn’t help but smirk at the very sister like comment made by the dad’s sister: And my father’s sister whispered, “A boy named Jack was bad enough” (Woodson).
The whole debate over what to name a child took me back to when I was naming each of my kids, and there would be disagreements and sometimes arguments over what the children should be named. I even had a few text messages in the past that said, “Please don’t name him/her so and so, name them this instead.” I really felt like this poem could have been anyone’s story, it was so real.
Second Daughter by Jaqueline Woodson- was my favorite. I loved the way it was written in a very just the facts way. I love how she is speaking about her birth as if she was there but on the outside looking in as she was born. I love how she describe all the happening within the hospital room as if she remembers them for herself. “Another buckeye, the nurse says to my mother. I am already being named for this place.” I love how she reflects on all the life changing historical events that took place not long before or after she was born, and how she doesn’t know which part she will play in changing the world compared to these powerful leaders surrounding her birth, but it seems she will take a place in the change of the future. I love how the poem tells her earliest story while simultaneously telling the story of the civil rights movement. I love that because of this, her story is everyone’s story, and it’s my story too (Woodson).
Lisa Valdez
“Chrysanthemum wilted.” This is such a perfect line, and each time I read this sweet book, I am stunned by how something so simple can be so intensely descriptive and meaningful. I can just see little Chrysanthemum withering like a shrunken violet as the other children make fun of her name, something that she was extremely proud of and loved, up until the moment that it became a target at the hands of the other children in her class. I love the way this book continues with the flower theme throughout — when Victoria picks on her, Chrysanthemum dreams that she becomes a flower, until “Victoria picked her and plucked the leaves and petals one by one, until there was nothing left but a scrawny stem.” This gives us an indication of how vulnerable and stripped Chrysanthemum felt when her name, the thing that makes her uniquely herself, was attacked. Continuing with the theme, Chrysanthemum is chosen as a daisy , instead of a princess or fairy, further providing ammunition for her classmates, until Mrs. Twinkle reveals that, like Chrysanthemum, her name is also after a flower, and that it contains all the same attributes that the children were ridiculing. I love that the tables turn and Chrysanthemum is no longer the wilted flower – she “Blushed, beamed and BLOOMED.” Mrs. Twinkle reminds me of my own kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Walker, who was a total hoot. She wore bell bottoms, big chunky heels, mini skirts, great big hoop earrings, a beehive hairdo, and bright psychedelic patterned clothes. She had an infectious laugh, and allowed us to be ourselves, much like Mrs. Twinkle, she was an indescribable wonder.
“A Girl Named Jack” reminds me of the old country song, “A Boy Named Sue,” which was actually a poem by Shel Silverstein before Johnny Cash recorded it. “Sue” learned to be tough because his name was always a source of ridicule. Years later, his father tells him,
“Son, this world is rough and if
a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough
and I knew I wouldn’t be there to help you along.
So I gave you that name and I said ‘Goodbye’.
I knew you’d have to get tough or die. And it’s
that name that helped to make you strong.”
Jacqueline’s father may have been thinking along those same lines when he stated that she “couldn’t help but grow up strong” if they “raise her right she will make that name her own,” and “people will look at her twice.” I think his pride in his daughter (and likely his great desire for a namesake son) prompted him to argue for the name “Jack”. He was upset when her mother and aunts quashed the idea and chose a more appropriate, feminine version of the name for her, likely to spare her ridicule in the future.
This poem reminds me of something my dad always used to tell me – he said to name my kids with full names, and give them nicknames, or people will try to change it, just as Jacqueline’s mother feared. My dad’s name is “Larry”, and yet people have always tried to make his name more formal. When my parents invitations addressed as “Lawrence”, he would turn to my mom and jokingly say, “I’m not invited, so you have to go by yourself.” I followed his advice, and gave my kids traditionally spelled names, for that reason.
“Second Daughter’s Second Day” seems somewhat harsh when looked at through the lenses of today, but as someone born just two years after she was, the world was a very different place than it is today. She was born in the midwest, and was surrounded by the protests going on in the Southern states. The phrase “negro here and colored there” is very true for the time. Even today, we are all products of who and where we come from, to some extent. I was born in Marin County, CA, and did not have the same perspective as someone in the south or midwest — the west coast, especially the San Francisco Bay Area was more of a melting pot, and different nationalities were more widely accepted.
I really like the way the poem evolves from describing the second daughter as a nameless little being just born, to a little individual, ready to choose her own life path. I think the imagery of her little fists balling up is tied in with the images of the feminine heroes of the civil rights movement, showing that even the littlest person has the potential to make a difference. I would like to play with descriptive imagery in my Make, and also perhaps tie in some history, which I love.
From Fall 2017
Alice Mylod-Vargas response to:
- What are some features of these texts (Chrysanthemum, A girl named Jack, and Second daughter’s second day) that resonate with you? What are some of your favorite lines? Why? How might we use these texts as models for our own writing? What elements would you borrow?
I found the italicizing of words in “A Girl Named Jack” very interesting. Whenever anyone said something, it would be italicized as to make the reader aware of who’s talking. I find this element interesting and would like to copy in when wanting to emphasize certain parts of my writing. I found the line “But the women said no” interesting because it shows the power the wife had over the husband. Although he wanted to name his child one name, the wife did not compromise.
In “Chrysanthemum,” I felt that the length of the sentences helped place emphasize on the important parts in the book. Most of the time, the sentences were very short and each sentence would end with “ [insert name] said”. This pattern was kept throughout the book. I would like to use this pattern technique. I appreciated how the author places emphasis on the words especially the last line, “Chrysanthemum did not think her name was absolutely perfect, she knew it”. The reader became drawn to the italicized words which I feel the author wanted to happen.
I loved the structure of “second daughter’s second day.” I felt that it was very impactful. In particular, I liked when the author leaves multiple spaces in between the line, “She was six years old.” It drew that readers attention to the fact that Ruby Bridges was only six years old when called names and spit at due to her skin color. When writing a poem, we can use these techniques to portray which lines we feel are especially important by the structure, phrasing, and patterns used.
I felt that all these texts used great and simple techniques that created a strong and positive effect on the reader.
Rafael Sevilla’s response to Lunsford, McWhorter, Yamada:
One of the things I struggle with as a parent is constantly thinking about how to inspire my girls, especially my oldest, as to how to be themselves and never shy away from expressing what they feel. “What Do You Do With An Idea” has become something I want to share with her because it really does a good job explaining that they should never fear making their ideas become reality, no matter how silly they think they could be. Writing is such a perfect way to convey emotion and deep thought. Reading and writing can do so much for culture. It can inspire a kid to take an idea and run with it and make it into reality.
I did not know nor learn English until I was 7 years old. I struggled a lot, and on top of it I was made fun of how I spoke when struggling to learn it and speak it. It wasn’t until I grabbed a book from my school library and told myself that I would learn this language no matter what. Reading helped me learn the language faster than I could have ever imagined, and combined with putting that reading into use when I wrote, the pace I learned English in quickened. I wouldn’t be where I am today with the English language had I never began to try my best at reading and writing it.
I believe in my introduction I wrote that texting and social media are to some effect detrimental to our literacy; I do in some ways firmly believe that. Yet, I am more so speaking about how people keep their heads down on their screens and avoid reality. I can agree with Lunsford. I also think we can all adapt to the situation we may find ourselves in when it comes to communication through writing. Some of my closest friends marvel as to how I can be the way they always have known me to be, with zero filter and then with a flip of a switch be articulate when the situation presents itself. I consider myself a pretty good writer. I know their is always room for improvement, but I can hold my own when a paper is due and put my best effort into writing something that catches the eye or makes people feel something.
As a whole I think all the writing we do or have done in this generation, we may be with the help of social media and other technology more adaptable to changes in literacy and changes in audience. I personally find it a challenge I love taking in doing this sort of thing. I love to be informed to I pick up a physical copy of my local paper everyday, I also read websites like The New York Times, Washington Post, Fox News, ESPN, TMZ, KRCR, and HuffPost. I do most of writing at work, but I also like taking care of birthday cards for our friends and family as well as little notes to my lady to let her know even though we may not see each other much in our hectic lives, that she is still always on my mind. I do the same for both my girls. Reading and writing serve me a huge purpose outside of school because I love to read and write every chance I get. It helps me unwind and get emotions off my chest. Social media really has a minimal role in my life since November, the month after my father died in 2015. I logged off from every site I had a profile with. I put my family in front and my faith forward and stacked up school work and my job and have been focusing on that since then.
Surprisingly after watching McWhorter’s TED talk, I really agree with his point about how we are communicating over text messages. I really never looked at that way. I really love when I can see the other side of an argument I really never agreed with in the first place. He makes a very valid point as to how we can write the way we talk, and their shouldn’t be anything wrong with that. There is however a fine line and that’s where being able to adapt to situational changes in literacy comes in. I love to write so much I realize usually very late when I start to get or have already gotten overly wordy. So if you comment on my post and took the time to read it thank you.